85% of all men sitting in prisons across this nation grew up in fatherless homes, according to recent surveys conducted by the Texas and Georgia Department of Corrections. 85%. I worked corrections at a local jail for a number of years and can testify to this fact. The stories of broken homes, fathers incarcerated who wanted to see their families again. Men incarcerated who had never met their fathers. It was a very common story.
In the current church fatherless wave across the US, we are beginning to see churches do a decent job with orphan care. I would say that statistically the church is still having a hard time figuring out how to really care for the widow, if they attempt it. I am blessed to go to a church where the single mothers are helped and cared for very well, and I think churches across the US are starting to make a shift to truly help single mothers and widows.
But as well as we may be beginning to do both of these, we must ask ourselves what the best possible answer for caring for the widow and the orphan is physically, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. While money, housing, food, and clothing are all necessary, there is a deeper issue that has yet to really be addressed. Restoring fallen fathers.
We get our perception of God the Father from how we know our own father. Wives can begin to understand Christ even more as they see their Godly husbands caring for them biblicaly and in love, as Christ cares for His bride the church. We must meet the physical needs of widows and orphans, but we must also meet the "father need" in our society. To hand out food, money and coats but not fill the void that a fallen father has left is unbalanced and irresponsible.
Restoring fallen fathers is the most dynamic way to minister to the community wide issues of the widow and the orphan. I believe the term widow can apply to single mothers as well. When men fail miserably their whole world around them can fall apart. Family dynamics, spiritual growth, financial provision, and protection are just some of the things that take a hit in the absence of Godly men leading biblicaly and in love.
I feel we have missed it. We can grow the men in the church, and that is important. But intentional discipleship and outreach to the fallen fathers has taken a back seat to other methods of strengthening families. If a father fails we will praise and support the widowed and the orphaned for their faith, and that is so necessary because it is central to the gospel. But it is wrong to take an unbalanced approach. God never intended for us to leave a fallen father behind. It is unbalanced to support the families that a father has broken, without ever once trying to restore that father to the man he was always meant to be. A Godly father is a powerful resource to his family, church, and community. If we allow him to stay broken and left behind then we are throwing away one of God's gifts to His people.
Restoring fathers really begins with a love for broken people and a vision for your community and nation. Your community is a complex organism made up of many cells. Universities, police departments, hospitals, businesses, churches, and the list goes on. But the basic institution, the one that God created in the beginning, the one institution that affects everything in your community, is family. And families were always meant to be led by Godly Fathers. The mother has her place certainly, but she reaches her full beauty and potential when she is married to a Godly leader.
If you want to impact a community, restore the fallen fathers in your community. So, how?
I can tell you that your local jail is the richest soil for this type of ministry. Local jails contain the fathers and the fatherless to a great degree. I have ministered to 50 year old orphans. Does that sound strange to you? It shouldn't. A 50 year old man without ever knowing his father can have the same issues as a 5 year old orphan. Unloved, undisciplined, unprotected, not provided for, no appropriate example of strength. That last one is huge. Do you have a problem with local gangs in your community? You are dealing with a group of ,largely fatherless, young men who have never seen an appropriate example of strength or authority so they rape and kill and destroy to prove they have the manhood that a Godly father should have told them they have all along.
I could throw statistics like 63% of all child suicides happen in fatherless homes, but there are so many troubling statistics that it would take quite a while to go over them all. There are two approaches to these issues. Restore the fatherless, or restore the fathers. For most of us one looks noble, and one looks like a waste of time. But God loves that broken father as much as he loves the orphan or the widow. It is never either/or. We must show the fatherless the love and provision of their heavenly Father, but also restore fallen fathers to the position of Godly leaders in their families and communities to be strong examples of Christ to the world around them.
If your church does not support a local jail ministry, can I ask you to examine the reasons why? Restore a father, and you have a great ally in restoring that family. If you restore families then you restore communities. And restoring communities leads to nations that are discipled by Godly men and women.
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